Think moments

Some things have always intrigued me. They catch me unaware and lead me into think moments - while walking down a street, while waiting for the bus, riding in a bus, during an information theory lecture, in the middle of a book or a movie or anything at all - the tired science versus religion thing; then on a higher level, consciousness; and then ultimately, existence itself.

Let's start with consciousness. I've always believed in evolution (I also believe in God. How I manage this will be covered in another section.) I believe there is no exact instance at which "life" started. I believe life evolved as interactions between various particles started increasing in complexity, finally forming entities that acted as living objects (to cut things short.) Evolution teaches that these objects evolved to become what we are today. The question is, when did we start being conscious? Have the aforementioned interactions become so complex that a living object now possesses an idea of being. When I think of myself as an individual, I find it hard to see how my thoughts, my motives and will, my very act of being conscious and thinking of myself as an individual with unique thoughts and motives and will are all end results of neurons and enzymes. I can accept this is evolution when I see people interacting with each other. But when I myself am here to have these thoughts, it is difficult to accept that my own consciousness is just a bunch of biology. (That was lousy communication; I didn't even convince myself when I re-read it.)

Moving on to existence, sometimes I think about how if everything that exists never existed at all. Not just our planet or our galaxy, but everything - the universe, parallel or multiple universes, matter, energy, time, space, the other six dimensions, any other dimension or anything else suggested in any attempt to explain existence. Not even an entity to bring all these into being. If you believe in the Big Bang, think of how if it had never happened and how if time never existed to come to a point where it happened. If the thought doesn't do something to you, you're probably not visualizing it right. "Wouldn't that be wonderful?" is what I would think if I felt suicidal.

It's late. Time to sleep.